Citation
Ellis, B. (2007), "Internet commentary", Microelectronics International, Vol. 24 No. 1. https://doi.org/10.1108/mi.2007.21824aag.001
Publisher
:Emerald Group Publishing Limited
Copyright © 2007, Emerald Group Publishing Limited
Internet commentary
There's a silver lining in the sky-ee!Bonsoir, old thing! cheerio! chin-chin!Nahpoo! Toodle-oo! Good-bye-ee![1].
This will be the last time you will read an “Internet commentary” in this journal, written by myself. I retired from this industry a number of years ago and, as I approach my 75th birthday, I feel it is time for a younger person to take over the keyboard. In reality, I am only 25, but my joints creak something like half-a- century later. Not only am I out of touch with what is going on in the industry, other than what I read, but also I feel that my commentaries are becoming stale and repetitious. For this reason, I have asked the publishers to relieve me of my duties, before the arthritis in my finger joints forces it on me.
I do not know how many times I have written columns for the three sister journals, Circuit World, Soldering & SMT and, of course, this one, Microelectronics International, but I suspect that it counts in the hundreds. I have had a great deal of pleasure writing these and receiving the odd correspondence from readers. I know I have been acerbic on many occasions and I make no apologies for this. I believe that it is the duty of a critic to be honest and declare the bad along with the good. I have been surprised how few times (only once, if I remember correctly) that web site owners have complained about bad criticisms. On a few rare occasions, I have received e-mails from some of them stating that my remarks have been justified and that measures will be taken to correct my complaints; to my gratification, this has usually been done.
Please bear with me one last time to add some last thoughts about internet security. As you will probably know, I have used PestPatrol as my anti- malware software. A few months ago, I changed my main computer and, although I installed all my usual security software, I forgot to install PestPatrol, so I was theoretically open to having malware installed. I recently installed the program but my subscription had expired and only the detection and not the elimination was working. This showed that I had four malware cookies on the computer. These were of little consequence, because they were designed to indicate that I had visited competitors' sites. However, the fact that I had to renew my subscription, which was not negligible, motivated me to have a look at the competition.
I started out with the popular AdAware. To my surprise, it produced two more malware cookies. This was the opposite of other comparative tests I had done earlier between the two softwares, where PestPatrol outperformed AdAware. As the latter was cheaper than the former, and it now seemed to perform correctly, I tried to purchase it. Fortunately, their credit card security system refused to accept my details, possibly because I did not live in a country which they deemed reliable! This made me search further and, after trying several others, which I rejected for one reason or another, I came across another program, called SpywareDetector. I ran this and it came up with a round dozen malware cookies and – wait for it – a Trojan Horse, undetected by any of the others. I was not fazed by this, because my ZoneAlarm firewall had blocked all attempts for it to transmit anything to a third-party. I did a little research and found that the Trojan Horse and most of the cookies had been on my computer for over one month, so they had not been put there by one of the other malware detectors. In view of this much better performance, that SpywareDetector was cheaper than PestPatrol, and that their web site accepted my credit card without any difficulty, I installed the full version with automatic updating and regular scanning. Since, then, it has detected and rejected a few attempts to install inappropriate cookies.
It was careless of me to have run my computer for several months without an anti-malware utility. As it happened, no harm was done, mainly thanks to the ZoneAlarm firewall. However, it would be foolish not to have SpywareDetector or something equivalent, in addition to the usual anti-virus, anti-spam and firewall softwares. For those of you on corporate networks, if your system administrator allows it, I recommend that these be installed on your workstation, even if your server is fully protected in its own right. It is best to be doubly sure, remembering that problems can come from within the company. Just to check the veracity of this statement, I deliberately copied the Trojan Horse onto a diskette, before eliminating it from my main computer. I installed it on a second computer and sent it to a third computer on my network, where it installed itself. There was nothing, at any time, on the third computer to show that the malware had been installed. Beware the evil from within!
If you wish to look at what SpywareDetector can do, there is a free trial version available on their web site at: www.spywaredetector.net/. You may be surprised at what it can find!
As this is my last attempt at being informative, please allow me to introduce some humour into my review section. Of course, I will try to make it as relevant as possible to the subject matter of this journal but, if I drift off at a tangent or a cosine, er, do not shoot the, er, writer!
www.workjoke.com/projoke27.htm
Let us start with the ridiculous, before tackling the sublime. This is a simple series of simple jokes about simple engineers, including some for those working in electronics. You will probably have heard some of them already, but there will almost certainly be some new ones (that is, unless you have already had the time to waste looking for a simple series of simple jokes about simple engineers). Actually, a couple of them made me laugh out loud, especially the one that starts, “Three freshman engineering students were sitting around talking between classes ...”
www.repairfaq.org/sam/humor.htm
This is similar in style to the previous one, but longer. It may be the cause of serious hunger symptoms if read from start to finish in one session, because there are more engineering jokes than there are poodles in Kensington (if my other reader is Scottish and does not know Kensington, please substitute Morningside). In reality, it is less simple, so may be described as semi- simple. The other half may be described as semi-complex. In truth, I think that the authors of some of the contributions must have a complex. I wonder whether, in the cases where a contribution has been written jointly by two authors, do they form a twisted pair?
DHMO is a chemical much used in various stages of the manufacture of components and assemblies within the electronics industry. Unfortunately, we tend to use it indiscriminately and without thought for the fact that it is responsible, each year, for causing thousands of deaths worldwide. Have a good look at the many pages of this famous web site, which blows the whistle on its toxicity, amongst other things. This is compulsory reading for everyone whose occupation means they come into contact with it, not forgetting that it can also be found in many homes.
Another commonly found, but dangerous, chemical is MSC. I think this is the first – and last – time I have reviewed a page that I wrote myself many years ago, even last century, but I am sure you will excuse me. It is not vanity which inspires me to do so but the desire to protect the electronics industry from the effects of a chemical that is positively known to cause multitudes of equipment failures. The fact that it is toxic, into the bargain, should not be ignored (see the attached MSDS or mad, silly, disinformation sheet). I would like to point out that MSC and DHMO, combined together, is perhaps the most dangerous mixture possible, as anyone without a lifejacket in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean may testify. I say the Atlantic, rather than the larger Pacific, because the latter has more islands with silver beaches to be washed ashore on, under the coconut trees, with beautiful girls dancing in grass skirts. Also, the cod has been fished out (I nearly said “fished dry” but how can the Atlantic be dry?). Besides which, the Pacific is more, er, pacific, so his agony would be shorter.
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Conductor
The Uncyclopedia, as the URL indicates, is rather like Wikipedia, even though it is not. In fact, if you think Wikipedia is the greatest source of useless knowledge, it must be because you have never browsed through Uncyclopedia. In the course of this article, I may refer to more than one page from this opus magnum internetii. This page covers a number of related subjects other than conductors pure and simple, such as semiconductors and superconductors. It even extends its research into the role of solder to join conductors together, although I am informed from a reliable source that the entry is still in a state of flux.
www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/chin2
Of course, we, in the electronics industry, are the mainstay of modern creativeness, as we provide artists in many media the means to express themselves in ways denied to such people as Leonardo da Vinci, Beethoven, Rodin or even van Gogh with one ear. This has taken on truly international dimensions, illustrated by this video clip of two Chinese boys singing and dancing in such a way as to make Caruso and Nureyev jealous of their extreme talent, that is, if they were still alive. The fact that it has been filmed in monochrome proves that colour is a distraction when it comes to fine art.
www.languagehat.com/archives/001382.php
Now here is something extremely serious, despite the page being blog- like. It answers questions that must have been in the minds of everyone who has spent longer than a nanosecond in the electronics industry. Wars have been fought over trivia, such as weapons that exist only in the minds of a few national leaders, yet battle has – surprisingly – never been joined over this matter, even though this matter has been used for joining. However, one can have articulation and joints in the same breath, so why not here?
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/CPU
As any six-year-old boy can tell you, but very few adults, the CPU is the heart- component of a computer, the house where the little men live. This page is very interesting, as it is illustrated by a photograph of a very early CPU. The way it works is obvious from the image, because its RAM is small: actually, only 94 bits. Unfortunately, the low-level programming language has all but been lost in the West, although there are adepts in the Far East who can use it for calculations faster than the Cray supercomputer that is installed in the Livingston Laboratory. The GUI is self- explanatory, but was spoilt when someone tried to connect it to a flat monochrome screen with a bright red surround and two rotary knobs at the bottom, one for the X-axis and the other for the Y-axis.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWeAOemTY_E
Should not really laugh at this one, but the guy trying to solder an 0805 capacitor was not what one would call, er, um, competent, even though he was probably doing his best. His competence, or lack thereof, was, however, crowned by his camera and video editing skills which were outstandingly bad!
www.seattlerobotics.org/encoder/200006/oven_art.htm
Along similar lines, but with better photography, I found that those $100,000 reflow ovens with carefully adjusted profiles and eight oxygen-free zones are a waste of money. You can do the same thing with a $30 household appliance. Maybe these guys will think again when their semiconductors fall off the boards, having forgotten to put them in the dishwasher. More seriously, I must admire how amateurs get round a lot of problems using what the French call “système D” even if they sometimes create others by not thinking through all the ramifications.
Not very subtle, but do you suffer from the problems caused by solder ants? Apparently, they favour equipment connected to phone lines but think of the damage they could do if they got loose in your factory or laboratory. One should anticipate them by having an antidote handy – is not that spelt wrongly? Should not it be an ant idiot?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwLjxKNqOo0
Ever wonder what happens when you mount an electrolytic capacitor the wrong way round? This leaves one in little doubt. Pity he had not used a big one, though; it would have been much more spectacular! Many years ago, I was on the other side of a lab when a rather accident-prone engineer connected a 68,000mF 25V one the wrong way round. I am glad I was on the other side, as the poor chap was a nervous wreck for the following two weeks. It was diagnosed then as shell-shock but, in today's politically correct world, it would be known as post-traumatic stress disorder. A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose (actually, I concur with Madame Stein, it is a rose!).
www.elekit.co.jp/material/english_product_html/AW-860.php?page=1&ssi=4,5,17,8, 7,18
Wow! Ever wanted a grand piano in your living room? Well, you can have one, now, in an Ikea-style flatpack. I hope that the instructions are better than Ikea ones, though. This great instrument can also double as a trumpet and some other instruments, as well as sound like a frog (is this why the French call a baby grand a piano crapaud?). It has a built in repertoire of some of the world's best-loved melodies. Actually, this would make a great birthday present for a 12 year-old boy who knows which end of a soldering iron to hold – it comes with a how-to-solder guide. However, as engineering is a poorly remunerated profession, on second thoughts it may be better not to encourage him along technical lines. How about a book, such as An Introduction to the Criminal Defence of Celebrities, if you want him to be able to look after you in your retirement?
//http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3144939546&category=11737
If you really insist that your kid follows in your footsteps, then he can learn how to solder with this kit and a modicum of parental guidance, no doubt. It comes with a practice project of a printed circuit that, if it works, will produce a siren sound. No doubt you will suggest soldering an extra 47V resistor across the battery terminals, so that the battery and sound die before you are driven totally round the bend. I think this is a great 18 bucks worth, complete with a 30W soldering iron, diagonal cutters, solder, solder iron stand, printed circuit board and all the components. Warning! The soldering iron is for 110V.
www.ekco-radar.co.uk/terry/terry.php
This page brought back memories of my first employment as an engineer, although my job was a lot earlier than the time stated, in fact over half-a- century ago. The lab where I worked also had a Little Gem Fuse Tester, but it was more sophisticated than the one described. It had an assortment of fuse holders and you could put in any fuse, press the button and a panel would light up saying “The fuse you tested was good”! As far as I remember, the original Little Gem Fuse Tester was the subject of a spoof article published in Wireless World, possibly for the April issue, somewhere between 1949 and 1951.
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Electronics
I now know why most electronic equipment is manufactured in Asia. I always believed that it was a matter of cost, but it is not – it is something to do with the little men inside your computer smoking, wasting time with latent cycles, but the cycles are so hard to pedal that they bust their guts and the smoke comes out. I am not sure I got that story right; it would perhaps be better to have a look for yourself and see where I may have gone wrong.
Well, that is it! I hope you enjoyed the little light relief (LED relief in modern language) that I have brought into this all-too-serious Microelectronics International; I think we should all unbend from time to time (even if bending and unbending are sore points, at the moment). If, on the other hand, you really believe that humour is irreverent and misplaced here, no matter how poor my attempts may be, my response is a rude noise in your direction.
Fare thee well, dear reader!
Brian EllisCyprusbne@bnellis.com
NoteGood-bye-ee! Good-bye-ee!, Wipe the tear, baby dear, from your eye-ee, Tho' it's hard to part, I know, I'll be tickled to death to go. Don't cry-ee, don't sigh-ee! There's a silver lining in the sky-ee! Bonsoir, old thing! cheerio! chin-chin! Nahpoo! Toodle-oo! Good-bye-ee! R.P Weston, a popular song, Good- bye-ee, 1915.