Slipping Into the Shadows: Boxing, Affect and Healing Justice

Abstract

This chapter offers an autotheoretical account of my experiences as a trans man training for my first amateur bout – one that has yet to come but borne out of a never-ending fight. My chapter is in conversation with autobiography (McBee, 2018), journalistic (Oates, 2006) and ethnographical scholarship addressing the intricacies of pugilistic violence as a response to systemic gender, racial, sexual and economic oppression (Beauchez, 2017; Rutter, 2007).

Boxing draws fighters from marginalized communities. As a trans man, I have fought intense ‘negative’ feelings most of my life – emotions culminating into rage. I joined an amateur boxing club in Ottawa after trying to instigate a street altercation with a stranger. Feeling out of control, I sought refuge with others who also believe fighting solves problems.

Influenced by Oates' observations that boxing is ‘primarily about being, and not giving, hurt’ (2006) and sharing McBee's experience of ‘loving those men even as I hit them in the face, and knowing that they love[] me back’ (2018), I explore boxing as intimate and affective grounds for bearing witness to the pain and injury of the other shaping their daily lives. Amateur boxing as an embodied and affective space exceeds the oft reductionist (mis)understanding of the sport as a violent spectacle of individual bravado and the emphasis scholars and the mainstream media place on the ‘heroic body’ (Woodward, 2007); instead, I offer glimpses into the healing justice as social justice that witnessing the pain, vulnerability and resilience of oneself and other boxers can provide.

Citation

Irving, D. (2023), "Slipping Into the Shadows: Boxing, Affect and Healing Justice", Greey, A.D. and Lenskyj, H.J. (Ed.) Trans Athletes’ Resistance (Emerald Studies in Sport and Gender), Emerald Publishing Limited, Leeds, pp. 59-69. https://doi.org/10.1108/978-1-80382-363-820231005